Not Having an Affair is Killing You!

Having an Affair

have an affair2Your marriage is in trouble, you’ve seen it coming for a long time but neither you or your partner knows how (or perhaps just can’t be bothered) to change things, to bring back that spark of excitement that brought you together in the first place. When you see one another all you can do is pick out the flaws in the other person rather than what first drew you together, the sex– on the rare occasions it happens– is perfunctory and boring, you’ve come to understand now that you’re both wasting each others time.

The marriage is dying if it hasn’t already died and by now you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the only thing keeping you both together is the kids, the bills or the naïve belief that perhaps one day things will improve. You’ll both fall madly in love again and life will return to normalcy.

But deep down, you both know your reading this is the wake up call; it’s not going to happen. It’s time to have an affair.

  Why an Affair?

affairAnyone who’s ever ridden habit’s cruel carousel understands just how mind numbingly boring life can become when nothing changes. You’re stuck in a rut which bores you to tears and yet you keep carrying out those same actions (or lack of) because they’ve become habit, devoid of surprise and life as they once might have been, but they’re now your every day routine.

Not only is this not healthy for your body or mind, you’re not alone. More than 18 million people every year have an affair, often with people they don’t even know– they do it for many of the same reasons with many of the same outcomes: better sex at home, more self confidence, a respite from the problems at home and a fresh outlook.

Where Do You Begin?

It can be hard to know where to begin with so many options for socialization, however the internet has brought people closer together since its inception and remains the easiest way for people of like mind to meet. There are a plethora of high quality dating sites who cater specifically to those who’re intent on having an affair and out weigh many local options for meeting people as we’ll soon see.

Getting Away With It

Be Discrete: Meeting at bars and taking out local ads are exceptionally dangerous for the would be affair seeker. The likeliness you’ll be seen by friends of the family or extended friends will rise drastically when you’re frequenting known social spots. This is what makes internet dating sites so attractive.

Plan: That old adage that failing to plan is planning to fail rings especially true in both love and war for many of the same reasons. If you meet someone online, plan out your dates and ensure your schedules coincide to reduce the chance of issues cropping up.have an affair

Proxy: Plan to set up an email account specifically for your affair partner(s) and buy a reloadable debit card. Then keep that card stored safely some place where your spouse or significant other can’t find it. Do not forget about it in your wallet!

Get yourself a (free) Google voice, Skype or other voice over internet phone service. This will allow you to send and receive text messages from the new number and not have it associated with your home or cell phones.

Mix It Up: The entire point of having an affair is to mix up your boring, predictable life with a dash of something new. Don’t hesitate to try new things and never, ever let your dates become routine. Routines are easy to track and disrupt and greatly increase the chances you’ll be caught.


Your reason for having an affair is unique to your situation but many of the things that drive people to seek comfort in the arms of another are pretty universal, don’t be afraid (or ashamed) to explore them. Remember, the internet has many, many tools for helping you conceal your affair and keep that spark in your life.

How to Have an Affair

Affairs do happen among hundreds of people annually. The result is break-ups for some and a learning curve for others on how to better their relationships. Depending on why the affair began in the first place, it can leave either a very negative trail or a relief. People have affairs for different reasons; they could feel neglected in their present relationship, lack of passion from their partners, are not getting enough sex or getting to meet someone else who is un-resistible and the list goes on

A look at how to have an affair:

Carefully choose your partner

First off, before stepping into an affair, you need to carefully choose your partner, this way your chances of getting caught are minimal. You have to maintain control of the arrangement while being upfront with your cheating partner. This is especially important if you have no intention of leaving the person that you are currently in a relationship with.

Follow your normal routine

The fastest way to getting caught is making a change in your daily routine at home. This means you should be careful to only make subtle changes as opposed to all-out changes to your routine. Buying new clothes may not raise an eyebrow, but staying out late, spending an extra time in the shower or giving your partner less attention than usual will all raise red-flags that something is up.

Always have an ally or alibi

It is best, although hard, to have that one person who you can confide in as to your intentions. This way, when you need to have an alibi for example for why you stayed out late, then that person can vouch for you to your partner. This is where the excuse of “I am going out with my friend” or “ I will be staying late at my friends place” comes in.